


The Unforgiven

by Lyras



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, F/M, Infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-20
Updated: 2011-04-20
Packaged: 2017-10-18 10:00:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/187707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyras/pseuds/Lyras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He could love her if she'd only let him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Unforgiven

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hereticalvision](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hereticalvision/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Inbetween](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/2993) by hereticalvision. 



> Hereticalvision, there was lots to choose from in your masterlist, but this was the piece of yours that really caught my imagination. I hope you like what I've done with it! Thank you to R for the helpful beta-read.

Pansy is hard and untouchable, but it's her brittleness that draws Neville in and bothers him enough to ask the question:

"Do you regret it? Trying to turn Harry in?" Then he feels stupid, because of course she must regret it. She behaved like a coward in front of the whole school; she tried to betray Harry in the moment before his victory over Voldemort. She _must_ regret it.

Her contemptuous smile makes him feel no less stupid. "Of course. Largely because it didn't work."

She's not serious; he's fairly sure of that. Who would confess to such an attitude with Voldemort gone and his enemies in charge? But the words niggle at him, confuse him, worry him. He worries about _her_.

Which is why, the next time he bumps into her outside the Leaky Cauldron, he asks her to dinner.

***

 

Neville is soft and straightforward, gentle yet formidable, and Pansy knows it will never work between them. She's too messed up; part of her thinks she _likes_ her relationships to be damaged and twisted beyond repair. Besides, she likes sophisticated men like Draco and Blaise, not clumsy, earnest, salt-of-the-earth types like Neville Longbottom.

So why did she say yes when he asked her out?

Partly, if she's brutally honest (and with herself Pansy is never anything else), she said yes because she's lonely. Her old friends are keeping a low profile, while everyone else seems to scorn her. So when Neville looked at her with concern in those brown eyes of his, he reached some part of her that was hungry - desperate, even - for affection.

She agreed to it, and now half her wardrobe is spread on the bed while she tries to decide what to wear. She's settled on Muggle clothes, but as she holds one top after another against her bare skin, she starts to despair. It all seems pointless, when she and Neville could never make things work. He could never love her, not really. And if he did, she'd probably just rip his heart into shreds, because that's what she does to nice boys.

She does not go to dinner.

***

 

Hannah is warm and open, and when Neville finally realises that he fancies her it's like something inside him clicking into place.

He knows quickly that their relationship is big; that it's serious. He finds himself daydreaming about taking her to visit his parents, because he can trust her - as he's never been able to trust anyone else - to be kind to them. He imagines coming home to her welcoming arms, and perhaps even to their children. He knows that their relationship is serious, and yet - or possibly because of this - when Pansy catches his arm and mutters, "Party, tonight," her breath hot against his ear, he agrees.

An hour into the party, he and Pansy are fucking in some bedroom, doing it up against the door to make sure no one interrupts. Pansy is gorgeous in her pleasure as she pulls him inside her, and as she comes her eyes open wide and he sees it again: that little spark of vulnerability behind the mask.

Then it's gone and she is kissing him briskly, smoothing her hair and dragging him back to the party.

***

 

Pansy's a bitch. That's the thought - although it's more of an emotion, a bright spark of anger - that explodes in Hannah's mind when she sees them talking at the Ministry ball.

This reaction bothers her. She's always prided herself on being nice, on not condemning people for their shortcomings, on not judging them out of hand.

All that flies out of the window as she watches Neville with Pansy. They're not even touching, but something charged about the way they're standing makes her want to march over there and tell Pansy, "Get your hands off my man."

She doesn't, of course; she knows that would look just as ridiculous as it sounds. But when Neville sees her watching and flinches guiltily, she knows that her instinct is true.

***

 

Neville's an idiot, just like the rest of them. He's going to marry that stupid cow, and yet he asks, "Will you still see me?" as if there isn't anything fucked up in that. As if he really loved her.

If he really loved her, he wouldn't be marrying Hannah Bloody Abbott. If he really loved Hannah, he wouldn't be shagging Pansy Fucked Up Parkinson.

The equation bounces around in her mind, driving her mad. She considers, as she so often has, laying herself bare to him. Of showing him everything, telling him she loves him, and seeing whether he wants her then.

 _If I loved you,_ she imagines herself saying, _would you leave Hannah and give us a go?_

She's being stupid. Of course he wouldn't. Who would want her in all her messed up glory? How could that ever be attractive?

She tells Neville that yes, she'll still see him. But she really means no, and this time she's going to stick to it.

***

 

Pansy is beautiful as she stalks away, lips fixed in a hard smile that doesn't quite mask her distress. Neville longs to run after her, to hug her, to say, "I'd love you, if you'd let me." It's what he's always wanted to do, even if all she did was laugh at him.

Which is probably what she would do. It'd never work, and besides, he has to stop hurting Hannah.

Suddenly he longs for Hannah's warmth and uncomplicated goodness. He could love Pansy - he could chase her and tell her everything he feels - but he _does_ love Hannah. It's there, now, solid and happy.

He knows where he needs to be.

***

 

Hannah is weary behind her customer service smile, and when Neville enters she almost turns away. Does he think she doesn't know; does he think she doesn't feel his reticence, doesn't see the doubts in his eyes? Does he think she has no doubts of her own?

But when he kisses her across the bar and leans back, his smile is all for her.

"Just wanted to see you," he says.

She leans over for another kiss, and discovers that behind the smile he is sad, his eyes dark and puffy, his nose slightly red.

"Hey," she murmurs and wraps her arms around him, ignoring the catcalls from customers. "You OK?"

He grips her tightly for a moment, nodding into her shoulder. "I'm OK."

When she lets go, something has cleared in his expression, and she thinks that perhaps - perhaps - they will be all right, after all.


End file.
